Life in Your 20s: A Constant Tug-of-War
Your 20s are supposed to be the years you find yourself. At least, that’s what we are told. But figuring out your 20s in a world that glamorizes early success, curated lifestyles, and the constant hustle, it’s easy to feel like you’re already falling behind. If you’ve ever caught yourself spiraling into thoughts like, “I should have more money saved,” “I should be further in my career,” or “Everyone else has it figured out but me,” – you are not alone.
The truth? No one has it all figured out. Especially not in their 20s.
The Pressure is Real (But Unnecessary)
Society places a massive amount of pressure on young adults to be settled – emotionally, financially, and professionally – by the time they hit their late 20s. But what gets ignored is how different everyone’s starting line is. Some people graduate college with support systems and job offers. Others are healing from trauma, working three jobs, or starting completely from scratch. You cannot compare your chapter three to someone else’s chapter ten.
The pressure to be “successful” can quietly damage your mental health. It leads to burnout, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and impostor syndrome. We get so caught up in meeting external expectations that we forget to check in with what actually matters to us. The pressure of figuring out your 20s can quietly damage your mental health.
Why It’s Okay to Not Know What’s Next
You’re not supposed to have all the answers right now. Life isn’t linear checklist of milestones – it’s messy, non-linear, and filled with pivots. Your 20s are meant to be exploratory. You’re learning who you are, what matters to you, what doesn’t, and how to live life on your terms.
Growth happens in the discomfort. It happens when you try something new, fail, try again, and figure out little pieces of yourself in the process. Confusion isn’t failure. It’s part of the path.
How to Cope With the Overwhelm
If the pressure to figure everything out has been weighing you down, here are a few ways to ease your mind and protect your mental health:
- 1. Unfollow the Noise
- Social Media can be inspiring – or completely toxic. If you find yourself comparing your life to influencers or friends online, it’s time to clean your feed. Curate your space with people who inspire growth, not pressure.
- 2. Check in With You
- Ask yourself regularly: What do I truly want? What would make me feel proud of myself today? You might realize that your goals don’t align with what others expect of you – and that’s more than okay.
- 3. Embrace “Failure” as Part of the Process
- Every wrong turn is actually redirecting you toward the right one. Instead of seeing failure as something to be ashamed of, reframe it as learning. The most successful people in the world “failed” countless times before they found what worked.
- 4. Practice Self-Compassion
- Be kind to yourself. You’re growing, learning, and doing the best you can. Speak to yourself like you would a close friend. You wouldn’t call them a failure for not having a 5-year plan, would you?
- 5. Celebrate Small Wins
- Progress doesn’t have to be dramatic. Cleaning your space, cooking a meal, showing up to work when it’s hard – those are victories. You’re showing up for yourself in quiet ways, and that matters.
Let Go of the Timeline
Some people meet the love of their life at 22. Some at 42. Some people find their dream job right away. Others change careers four times before they find what lights them up. There is no “right” age to figuring out your 20s – there is only your timing.
Life isn’t about hitting milestones. It’s about showing up for yourself every day with intention, grace, and honesty. So the next time you feel behind, remember: you’re still becoming. And there’s beauty in not having it all figured out yet.
Why It’s Okay to Not Know What’s Next When Figuring Out Your 20s
You’re not meant to have all the answers right now. Life does not follow a perfect check list – it twists, turns, and teaches. Your 20s are for learning, failing, healing, growing, and trying again.
Progress happens when you step out of your comfort zone, not when you have everything mapped out. Confusion, set backs, and uncertainty are part of the process – not signs that you’re doing it wrong.
According to the American Psychological Association, uncertainty during transitional life phases is completely normal and even necessary for personal growth (source). Learning to sit with the unknown can actually strengthen your emotional resilience and improve decision-making in the long run.
Final Thoughts
You are not late. You are not lost. You are exactly where you need to be to become who you’re meant to be.
Give yourself permission to grow slowly. Trust the process. And most importantly – be gently with your soul.
- Checkout our last blog post here
